Groundhog Day meets the Wizard of Oz
Volume: Quiet sigh.
Issue: What’s a person to do?
Date: February 2, 2022
“It’s like deja vu all over again.” —Yogi Berra
Groundhog Day meets the Wizard of Oz
FakeNewsFlash from Pennsylvania, February 2nd—So the famous groundhog Pandemic Phil and his mate crawled out from quarantining in the ground this morning, and—lo and behold—he saw his shadow. That means that there will be six—but only six—more weeks of covid!! Phil and Phyllis shed rodent tears of joy, which dripped onto their KN95s, so happy were they that the pandemic would be over soon! They hugged each other, scrubbed their paws with special animal sanitizer, stood still for a few minutes while a groomer cut their winter fur coat that was falling in their eyes, waved to the crowd of reporters standing 6 feet away, sighed, and then crawled happily back into their hole life.
AH! If only this FakeNewsFlash were true! If only we could crawl back into our pre-pandemic whole life! As 2020 is smooshing into 2021 and 2021 is smooshing into 2022, how can we not echo the feelings of the Wicked Witch of the West, “I’m melting!!!”
But—pat ourselves on the back—all of us, with our strong hearts and well-oiled brains, have been finding the leonine courage to go down this yellow spiked road searching for that “Somewhere Over the Rainbow!”
The latest from the CdC (Center for depression Control) reports that laughter is the one of the best boosters. Below are some fun quotes to arm us with a shot of energy on our journey toward normalcy. Hopefully we can soon click our heels together and declare, “Toto-ly, we’re not in Covid anymore!!”……..
“During the pandemic, until further notice, the days of the week are now called: thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday.”—Anonymous
“Pretty wild how we used to eat cake after someone had blown on it!”—Anonymous
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?”—Tina Fey
“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”—Chris Rock
“There are three things men always talk about: women, sports, and cars.”—Mario Lopez
“What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.”—Jerry Seinfeld
“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?”—Phyllis Diller
“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”—Will Ferrell
“I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”—Joan Rivers
“When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra.”—Will Rogers
“I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type.”—Bob Hope
“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”—Henny Youngman.
“People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.”—George Burns
“I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”—Mae West
“Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”—Anonymous
“If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.”—Erma Bombeck
Here’s hoping that your life is rolling along just fine, with plenty of laughter making it better!
Irene