Ten-der Loving Commandments (TLC) For Boomer Babes!
Volume: Soft, sweet, and reverent
Issue: Honor thyself!
Date: May 1, 2022
If I had know I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.—Mae West
Ten-der Loving Commandments (TLC) For Boomer Babes!
“Tender Loving Care (TLC)” and “Boomer Babes” in the same sentence feel repetitive, as most Boomer Babes have been dispensing TLC to others throughout their entire lives as easily as if TLC were PEZ candy! Ah, but for self-caring and self-love, a Boomer Chick may need some reminders—aka commandments!
Thou shalt whine with wine to thy Precious Old Dames about thy aches and pains and fears and frets and receive total empathy in a way impossible for Boomer Buddies to understand.
Thou shalt take extraordinary care of thy beauty through self-love. As Sophia Loren said, “Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.”
Thou shalt get thee to any and all doctors as needed and remember that thou is the best specialist on thine own body and thou deservest to ask all thy questions and get all thy answers even after the fifteen minute appointment slot has ended.
Thou shalt be faithful to chocolate. In any emergency situation, break glass or break open that candy bar?
Thou shalt never cry or freak out over online medical research results, especially online medical articles showing horrific red and purple photos of unidentifiable diseased body parts or articles containing the words “cancer,” “immediately to a hospital,” or “terminal.”
Thou shalt explore and honor “alternative healing practices” as “ancestral practices,” as these practices over the past 200,000 years have healed thy mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers of low libidos, stiff fingers, night sweats, flaky skin and dry vaginas. Perhaps what is called “woo woo” can help thou, too! Why not get verbal about herbal? Why hesitate to meditate? Why not get flaky about Reiki? Why say “Ach!” about acupuncture? Why not tie one on with Tai Chi? Why not heal thyself as thou develops synergy feelings about energy healings!?
Thou shalt honor thy Precious Old Dames as essential to thy physical, spiritual, emotional health and well-being by renaming “girls’ lunch” as “therapy,” as in, “Honey, I am going to my JULIETS therapy session now.” JULIETS—Just Use Ladies Into Enormous Tasty Salads—Therapy is at least $300 cheaper than a shrink therapy hour, even including thy waitperson’s tip.
Thou shalt honor thy biological connection with thy mother and thy grandmother. Did you know that your grandmother carried part of you inside her womb? A baby girl is born with all the eggs she will ever have in her lifetime. So when your Grandmother was carrying your Mother in her womb, you were a tiny egg in your Mother’s ovaries. The three of you have been connected for a very long time.
Thou shalt honor thy body with healthy choices—in moderation. Eating well is a form of self-respect for thy body. But french fries with gobs of ketchup is self-respecting thy soul, right? Whatsagirltodo? Moving thy body is a gift, even with a walker or a cane. But isn’t binge-watching Outlander on thy comfy couch easier on thy tush? Whatsagirltodo? Listening to thy body’s needs and thy soul’s needs feels like a non-ending tug-of-war. Isn’t it time to negotiate thy truce, a truce without thy guilt? If not now, when?
If I had my life to live over again,
I’d dare to make more mistakes next time….
I’d relax….
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.”
—Nadine Stair, poet, 85 years oldThou shalt love thy body for better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. Thy body is thy oldest friend and has been there for thee even before thy first breath and will be there for thee until thy last breath. How cool is this: thy best buddy is thy best body?!
Sending wishes for exquisite self-care and self-love,
Irene