Ten (Loving) Commandments—TLC—to Help Women Help Men Needing Medical Help
Volume: Low, whiny groans
Issue: What issue? He’s fine!
Date: October 1, 2021
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” —Elbert Hubbard, 19th century writer
Ten (Loving) Commandments—TLC—to Help Women Help Men Needing Medical Help
Even amidst a pandemic, normal illnesses and injuries and aches and pains arise. What? An Aging Male is sick? Injured? Bruised? Aging Males are too competent or too in-control to bleed, spike a fever or experience aches and pains.
Quiet words and suggestions stealthily offered by his Aging Woman are often no help and are met with an Aging Man’s mega-denial to the max. To avoid Aging Conflict, it is time to reformulate The Care and Feeding of an Ailing Aging Man.
The Ten Loving Commandments
for an Aging Women wanting to provide TLC—Tender Loving Care—but bumping heads (ouch!) with her Aging Man’s concept of TLC—Totally Limited Caretaking!
Thou shalt not offer chicken soup to a sick Aging Male under penalty of a tongue-lashing, if the fever has not parched his mouth so much that his tongue can’t lash!
Thou shalt not say to an Aging Man, “Oh, honey, I am so sorry you are…
Too dizzy to find your car keys to drive!
Throwing up all over the floor from food poisoning!
Holding your nose to keep the broken pieces together!
Struggling to remove the staple gun staple from your leg!
Refusing a pain pill that might help!
Not cancelling golf plans even though you can’t stand up!Thou shalt not hold a thermometer within two feet of an Aging Male’s mouth or, heaven forbid, an Aging Male’s tush.
Thou shalt not fetch a bag of ice or a bag of frozen peas for an Aging Male’s bruise.
Thou shalt not say, “Growing old is not for sissies” more than three times to your Aging Man who is growing old and is acting like a sissy.
Thou shalt not offer compassion to an Aging Male, not by a soothing voice, or by a furrowed brow, or with a soft “There, there” tap on the shoulder, or with a “How are you feeling?”
Thou shalt not remind an Aging Sick Man that the urgent care clinic is only five minutes away and closes in 30 minutes.
Thou shalt not share similar concerns experienced by an Aging Female that had a positive outcome. Sharing is not caring for an ailing Aging Male.
Thou shalt not offer any bedside communicative device—such as a cell phone, a dinner bell, or a kazoo—should your Aging Man need to summon you for “help.”
Thou shalt get thyself and thy mask to a nunnery or an outside Coffee Cafe for lunch with a Precious Old Dame for some moments of tranquility and peace amidst the non-neediness of your ailing Aging Male.
Sending thoughts of healing and chicken soup,
Irene