Steamy Hot Summer Sex!

Volume: Loud moans and groans!
Issue: Where is that little pink pill when we need it?
Date: July 17, 2022

For women, the best aphrodisiac is words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.

—Isabelle Allende, Chilean writer

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

—Billy Crystal

Steamy Hot Summer Sex!

As an Aging Human Partnership rides into their happy golden years along Route 66+, nature puts up a big warning sign, “Dangerous Curve Ahead. SLOW!” Sex becomes even more challenging when navigating with rusty, arthritic body parts and slow-moving hormones that may cause libid-lo.

It is commonly accepted that as men age, their sexual performance changes. Aging Human Males have their ED (Erectile Dysfunction), which is not a happy condition but at least it is well-recognized and legitimized with a name. And, yes, medical science has come to the rescue. Enter “The Little Blue Pill.” 

But what about women and their aging va-jay-jay? According to gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter, “As women age, some report a decrease in orgasm intensity as well as difficulty achieving orgasm.” (TRUTH, “Of Age and Pleasure,” The New York Times, 05/16/2019.) 

Ouch! That hurts—on many levels, in many areas. So why isn’t there a name recognizing and legitimizing this sexual decrease in intensity for aging women? Let’s call it Female Orgasm Gone (FOG). Do Aging Human Females experience FOG when it comes to sex? Are aging women walking around in a FOG? Do we need a good gynecologist or a good weatherperson to help with FOG? Just as Aging Human Males have their little blue pill to help them with ED, doesn’t sexual equality demand a drug for Aging Human Females with the FOG of sexual aging? 

Ladies, where is that little pink pill when we need it? There are rumors about a drug coming (pun intended!) for aging women to enhance foreplay and help with FOG. The rumored drug is called VivaVagina (from the Latin vivavaginare, “to explode”). There may even be a generic option available called Clitamax. (Please note: many believe that these rumors about a female orgasm pill are faked.)

But until there is a little pink pill to sit on the nightstand alongside his little blue pill, there will be the tricky problem of aging sexual libid-lo. The question is how to handle, ahem, this Erectile Dysfunction and Female Orgasm Gone when it pops up (or when it doesn’t pop up!) in the bedroom. Fighting doesn’t help, unless it leads to mind-blowing make-up sex.

Here are some suggestive suggestions in the spirit of those old Doublemint Gum commercials, “Double the pleasure, double the fun!”

More foreplay leads to—>more requests for “Make my day!” 

More kissing leads to—>more blissing!

More cuddles leads to—>unravelling mental muddles.

More skin leads to—>more cuddling agin and agin.

More “sweetie pies” leads to—> more satisfied sighs.

More sex toys leads to—> more Os for aging girls and boys.

More laughter leads to—>more joy before, during and after.

More time leads to—>things sublime.

More compassion leads to—> more passion!

More grass leads to—>more a__? Does the hippy weed from the 60s make for hipper sex when you’re in your 60s? Research by Dr. David Simon indicates that both high and low doses of marijuana are associated with an increase in women’s desire to be sexually active. Dr. Simon’s research also showed that while “low levels of cannabis use are associated with increased reported sexual arousal in men... higher doses may lead to a diminished libido.” Time to re-cycle that lawn sign—“Please Keep Off the Grass!”— to The Man Cave?

For steamy hot summer sex, sometimes more is more. And sometimes “more befores” lead to “more happily-ever-afters”.

Still need some inner steam? Try channeling your inner Kathleen Turner and William Hurt from Body Heat (1981—available on Amazon Prime for $2.99!)
HAVE FUN!

Irene