More Sass!
The Pandemic Primer
“Wine glass half full, wine glass half empty...why not make it a full on whine experience.”—Rae Jean Beech
The Pandemic Primer provides additional chapters to the Care and Feeding of the Aging Human Male Species that womansplain how to be a Semi-Quarantine Queen while navigating the Post-Quarantine-Vaccine Scene with your Aging Human Male. (YIKES!) This newsletter, arriving in the middle of each month, provides a road map to ease your Pandemic Progress and your own sweet self—and provides something else to read for those times when you still feel like shutting yourself in the car in the garage with the radio blaring just for some precious alone time!
Here’s the latest….
and be sure to check out the archives below for more chuckles!
Just How FUNNY is SEX! Female Comedians Bare ALL!
Volume: O—YES!
Issue: The Truth
Date: September 1, 2022
In humor, truth…and these female comedians sure like to dish the truth!
Just How FUNNY is SEX!
Female Comedians Bare ALL!
“In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind.”—Nora Ephron
“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”—Dorothy Parker
“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes, she’s a tramp.”—Joan Rivers
“Usually I’m on top to keep the guy from escaping.”—Lisa Lampenelli
“I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody’s face while we’re having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?”—Laura Kightlinger
“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”—Mae West
“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”—Lily Tomlin
“My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don’t have sex—ever. Now that the milk is free, we’ve both become lactose intolerant.”—Margaret Cho
“I think we all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.”—Chelsea Handler
“Its been so long since I made love I can’t even remember who gets tied up.”—Joan Rivers
“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor.”—Betty Friedan
“The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she’s shopping.”—Joan Rivers
“I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”—Erma Bombeck
“Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.”—Suze Orman
“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”—Mae West
“It’s not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”—Marilyn Monroe
“I admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.”—Phyllis Diller
“There are a number of mechanical devices which cause sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.”—Lynn Lavner
“As I get older, I just prefer to knit.”—Tracey Ullman
WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?!?
Other than…stay tuned for the next newsletter when Male Comedians talk about “How FUNNY is SEX?” and let it ALL hang out!
Irene
Pandemic Primer Archive
