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The Pandemic Primer
“Wine glass half full, wine glass half empty...why not make it a full on whine experience.”—Rae Jean Beech
The Pandemic Primer provides additional chapters to the Care and Feeding of the Aging Human Male Species that womansplain how to be a Semi-Quarantine Queen while navigating the Post-Quarantine-Vaccine Scene with your Aging Human Male. (YIKES!) This newsletter, arriving in the middle of each month, provides a road map to ease your Pandemic Progress and your own sweet self—and provides something else to read for those times when you still feel like shutting yourself in the car in the garage with the radio blaring just for some precious alone time!
Here’s the latest….
and be sure to check out the archives below for more chuckles!
Meshugeneh Challah-Day Recipe
Volume: Reverent
Issue: It would be a miracle if we could decide on one spelling of the word Hanukkah- Channukah- Hannukah.
Date: December 8, 2022
“Imagine if your cellphone was at 10% but lasted 8 days. Now you understand Hanukkah.”
—Anonymous
Meshugeneh Hanukkah Challah-Day Recipe
Prep time: 357 days
Cook Time: 8 nights
Expiration Date: After the 8th candle melts
Ingredients:
44 Hanukkah candles
1 Hanukkah menorah
1 Bossy boss mansplaining how to arrange and light the Hanukkah candle
1 Family-full of parents, kids, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends
1 Large pot matzoh ball soup, with a meshugeneh fight over who makes the best matzoh balls
1 Quart of Jewish Angst over the latest man Daughter has brought home (he’s not a doctor!)
1 Bottle of Manischewitz wine to deal with the Daughter Angst
2 Bottles of Manischewitz to deal with more kvetching after the first wine bottle is finished (why is kvetching this night different from other nights? oops, wrong Jewish holiday!)
Alotta latkes
1 Dreidl (spinning top for the Dreidl Game)
2-10 Kids whining that playing the Dreidl Game is sooo boring compared to video games
3 Bags of chocolate coins (aka Hanukkah gelt)
1 Dog that gets into the chocolate coins... and gets sick all over the living room carpet
Instructions:
Mix all candles, food, games, and family together.
Stir in more Manischewitz wine until everyone is as lit as the candles.
Have Bubbe give big smoochy cheek kisses and smothering hugs to all the grandkids.
Sprinkle with lots of ahava … love!
Rest for 357 days. Repeat the above recipe.
Here’s hoping that all the 1,590 readers who downloaded those free November kindles are chuckling their way through the holidays… ENJOY!
And wishing you and yours many miracles during the holiday season,
Irene
Pandemic Primer Archive
