More Sass!
The Pandemic Primer
“Wine glass half full, wine glass half empty...why not make it a full on whine experience.”—Rae Jean Beech
The Pandemic Primer provides additional chapters to the Care and Feeding of the Aging Human Male Species that womansplain how to be a Semi-Quarantine Queen while navigating the Post-Quarantine-Vaccine Scene with your Aging Human Male. (YIKES!) This newsletter, arriving in the middle of each month, provides a road map to ease your Pandemic Progress and your own sweet self—and provides something else to read for those times when you still feel like shutting yourself in the car in the garage with the radio blaring just for some precious alone time!
Here’s the latest….
and be sure to check out the archives below for more chuckles!
Just How FUNNY is SEX! Male Comedians Let It ALL Hang Out!
Volume: O—YES!
Issue: The Truth, Again
Date: September 15, 2022
Once again, in humor, truth…in truth, humor!
Just How FUNNY is SEX! Male Comedians Let It ALL Hang Out!
“Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.”—Groucho Marx
“Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.”—Jerry Seinfeld
“Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.”—Jon Callahan
“Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences than money can buy.”—Steve Martin
“My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.”—Les Dawson
“Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don’t multiply.”—Phil Proctor
“Older women are best because they always think they may be doing it for the last time.”—Ian Fleming
“Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re’ only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.”—Milton Berle
“Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.”—Billy Crystal
“You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”—Steve Martin
“I asked my wife, ‘On a scale from one to ten, how do you rate me as a lover?’ She said, ‘You know I’m no good at fractions.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“In Germany police are searching for a women who holds men at gunpoint and forces them to have sex with her. Actually the gun isn’t for the sex, it’s to keep the guy around later to make him cuddle.”—Jay Leno
“My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she’s reading.”—Emo Philips
“Sex is a two-way treat.”—Franklin P. Jones
WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?!?!
Irene
Pandemic Primer Archive
